This is the longest I’ve ever grown out my facial hair. And you know what? I can’t stand it. Fuckin’ hate it. I’ve been itching so much it’s distracting me from my work. It takes more time and effort to carve a decent line of prickles that rides my jaw just so, and doesn’t kudzu my cheeks, than to just take a blade to the full phizz. The consciousness of the beard is overwhelming. It’s like the whiskers are busting from my eyebrows and my earlobes. “What did you say? I can’t hear you because of this beard between us.” “Whaddya mean, that clown with the bulbous nose and the Statue of Liberty hat? I can’t see, because I’ve got this beard blocking my vision.”
3 comments:
these fake beards are better than my real beard.
This is the longest I’ve ever grown out my facial hair. And you know what? I can’t stand it. Fuckin’ hate it. I’ve been itching so much it’s distracting me from my work. It takes more time and effort to carve a decent line of prickles that rides my jaw just so, and doesn’t kudzu my cheeks, than to just take a blade to the full phizz. The consciousness of the beard is overwhelming. It’s like the whiskers are busting from my eyebrows and my earlobes. “What did you say? I can’t hear you because of this beard between us.” “Whaddya mean, that clown with the bulbous nose and the Statue of Liberty hat? I can’t see, because I’ve got this beard blocking my vision.”
A beard-related story. More here.
OMG, I just discovered your website and Etsy store (thanks to Metafilter, btw) and I totally LOVE what you do :x
As soon as you put up a nice black or brown beard (*hint hint!*) on Etsy, I'm going to buy it up!
Keep up the awesome work :D
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